It really feels very good to be able to type after writing for one whole day. However, there will be more writings for me to do come tomorrow and the day after and the day after after and the day after after..... Yes Yes. I will only officially end my exam on the 29 September 2008 at 930 am. After which i hope i will be able to catch up on the things i really like do!

It is really interesting how a tiring week can actually be a blessing in disguise. I talked more to my parents and i just realised that my mum is actually a very funny person! hahah! Here is one of the short conversation we had today.

Me: I'm very tired.. and i think i am going to fail maths tmr!

Mum: you're going to fail maths? then might as well not study right? Dont sit for the exam la. After all, there is no difference in getting a big fat 0 and a fail when eventually your total grade will still be a U! (then she started laughing)

Me: hahahah! Very funny mummy!

Mum: what?? you mean you didnt know ealier that your mum is funny???

Yes yes, you see.. this conversation would not have taken place if it werent for my exams.

The greatest gift of all is the gift of love and yes i do feel very loved because of my exam. People sending me messages from a 3 word message "All the best" to those long essays.. hahaha!
The encouragement i've gotten not only from my friends but also from my family really puts me in a better position for this much dreaded exams.

Also, God gave me a song to stand by with and i believe this song will take me through the exams. As much as i ramble and complain so much, deep down inside, I really feel a sense of peace, a sense of happiness which i have not had for a very long time. I feel very much at ease and peace despite of what is going on around me.

I am EXTREMELY tired, exhausted and in need of sleep( I need at least 9 hours hahah!) but i'm happy that through this, i am able to find what makes me happy. I have a clearer throught in my head and I know i am blessed because of the people around me! : )

Well... Its time to give my all!

Keep the faith and drop the fear. Don't believe your doubts and doubt your beliefs. Life is a mystery to solve, not a problem to resolve. Trust me. Life is wonderful if you know how to live.

I've found the lyrics to the song!! YAY!! i was desperately trying to find the lyrics to the song of the chorus mentioned in my ealier post but i couldnt find it... BUT as i went and google it again, my friend's blog appeared on the list and there was the lyrics right in my face!! : )

However, I feel what my dearest friend said is true. God only revealed that stanza of the whole song to me because he just wanted me to focus on it earlier on.. SO I guess he wants me to reflect on the whole song now since i'be found the lyrics to the song. : ) Although its been a very tiring week/day, I am thankful because It could have been worst. Thank God for sending people into my life to lessen the load. Sometime words isnt enough to describe how i feel towards them. All i want to say is this. I love them all!! AND I LOVE GOD A LOT A LOT! : )

My soul finds rest in God alone,
My salvation comes from Him
He alone is my rock,
He alone is my salvation
My soul finds rest in God alone,
All my hope I place in Him
He alone is my fortress,
He is my deliverer,
I'll not be shaken

God alone is my rock and
I'll not be moved
I'll find shelter in his wings
He alone is my strength and shield
How my heart leaps for joy.
I will ever give thanks unto Him

For you have been my refuge, Lord
A strong tower against the foe
My help in times of distress
My joy in times of affliction
For you have heard my cry o God,
Listen to my supplication
From the ends of the earth I cry,
Lead me to the rock that is higher than I

God alone is my rock and
I'll not be moved
I'll find shelter in his wings
He alone is my strength and shield
How my heart leaps for joy.
I will ever give thanks unto Him

God alone is my rock.
And i'll not be moved,
I'll find shelter in his wings.
He only is my strength and shield.
How my heart leaps for joy.
I will ever give thanks unto him.

God, thanks for sending this song to me. This really comforted me! Thank you!

Call it fortunate for what, i have had the oppotunity to have a glismpe and read through some of the University Work stuff. hahah! First it was about religion VS technology and some online religion thing. Secondly, some Literature stuff which i have totally no clue what was being mentioned in the article. Oh well.. Maybe my time isnt there yet. : )

For now, I shall just settle myself and do what i need to do right now which is to clear the first obstacle in my path to Uni. Whether I do eventually make it through the 1st Stage, we'll just have to wait and see..

When You Believe

Many nights we've prayed
With no proof anyone could hear
In our hearts a hopeful song
We barely understood
Now we are not afraid
Although we know there's much to fear
We were moving mountains
Long before we knew we could

Chorus:
There can be miracles
When you believe
Though hope is frail
It's hard to kill
Who knows what miracles
You can achieve
When you believe
Somehow you will, (Now you will (3rd Chorus through))
You will when you believe

In this time of fear
When prayer so often proves in vain
Hope seemed like the summer birds
Too swiftly flown away
Yet now I'm standing here
My heart's so full, I can't explain
Seeking faith and speaking words
I never thought I'd say

Chorus

So in times when all your hope is gone
And you go through life afraid
In your heart there lies a hopeful song
That is there to guide the way
And all the hurt and all the pain
You soon will learn was not in vain
For all your prayers, they will be heard
They'll come to pass through faith

Chorus

Someday i'll realise... i will

Its really not easy. In fact its one of the most difficult *thing which you need to overcome, in order to succeed. Its not going to be easy and it was not easy but i guess i will have to go through it somehow.

14 more days which mean 2 more weeks! Its drawing nearer and nearer every second, min, hours. I just pray that i will have the strength to give my best shot at it. I know if i believe and still have this glispme of hope, no matter how tiny it might be, i might be able to pull through this and hopefully everything will turn out well.

I know God has a plan for me, a perfect one in fact. i just hope i will be able to coordinate well with him and do my best. : )

*In all that you do, give thanks and praises to the Almighty because he has done marvous! : )

GOD I OFFER ALL OF THESE TO YOU!! : )

I don't think i am ready to face whatever that is drawing near really soon
I dont think i have been treating God fairly. (Duh!)
I dont think i have been leading a good christian life.
I dont think i deserve the grace and help from God but i really need his help.

I think i am heading for straight.........
I think i am in deep trouble
I think leading a life with no goal or aim can be rather disturbing and frightening especially when....
I think i can no longer hold on anymore.



I am thankful for

-God because no matter how unworthy or distant i am from him, he always call me back to him and he just keep calling and calling and calling. But what on earth am i doing?? I have no idea! All i know is deep down in my heart, i really really love him and wish i could give everything i have to him. All my fears, doubts, weaknesses, disillusions, unworthiness etc etc. Basically all those negative aspect of my life and me.

-My family because they are there all the time although i hardly speak to them lately.

-My Godma for always being there for me and for her constant reassurance and reminders. She never fails to help me out whenever i needed her. : ) oh yes... My friend and I had a mini discussion today and we concluded that Godmas are the best being in the world! : D I LOVE HER MUCH!!!!!!!!!

-Rock. She is one of a kind who will go all out for her friends. A friend who cares unconditionally, gives without hesistation and understand without explanation. She never fails to make me a happier person. Although its been a short while, it seems like i've known her for years! If there is a friend i am gratful for today and everyday, it will have to be her! :)

- ALL MY FRIENDS!! : ) Without them, life will be totally different.

I now fully understand and comprehend how difficult and harsh reality of life can be. It is only because of those special people in your life that allows you to walk through all these. It definitely will be one which is full of challenges, obstacles and trials but it is in overcoming them that makes life more accomplished and meaningful. I know it is easily said that done and giving up or escaping might be an easier way out. However, we werent born to be weaklings. We or at least I have to be strong and clear-headed to face it courageously.

I never felt this way before. So lost, So tired, So worn out... I am going in circle and heading no where. If only dreams can be reality. Things would and definitely will be so much better and life will be easier to bear.. I want to rest, rest, rest and have more rest.. BUT i know i cant.

Pearl, maybe it is time you wake up and face reality. It may not be an easy one but you have chosen it and you have no choice but to go through it. Not only go through it, but go through it emerging a stronger person with the endless graces and love from God.