And so its confirmed that results is out this friday. I cant help but wonder about how i will feel over at the other side of the world. Though I kind of expected certain results, I'm still a little nervous and unprepared for the truth. It may be a good thing that I'm not there at all to witness all the tears and joys of my other accquaintance when the results are being announced. I know this coming friday is a day where I will be tested again. Test of faith and trust and also a test of my sanity. Its easy to say now that through all the mental preparation I've given myself, I will be perfectly fine on friday but deep down, i know I will still face some emotional turmoil. Till that day comes, I will have to remind myself to stay strong and believe that things may not turn out as bad as they may seem to be..

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, MISS CHERYL JOANN LEE! :)

My greatest love is YOU

I miss the feeling of missing You. Today, i'm glad that feeling came back and I want to tell you how much I miss and love You.

Somehow I find comfort in knowing that I'll be away when all that is going to take place. Call it running away or unable to face reality but it may be a good thing after all.

After 2 month plus of work, I'm finally going to quit come the end of feb and take a break. Not that work has taken a toll on me. In fact, work has been alright, learning quite a bit of things along the way, interacting with people of different background, mentality and ways of handling situation. It has given me a veiw on what childhood development is like and what qualities one must posses before entering this profession. I'll definitely miss the kids since they made my 2 months plus a little more exciting and interesting. I'll miss how they'll disturb me so i'll give them my attention. I'll even miss how they can make my day so frustrating and miserable. haha. Nonetheless, i'll leave knowing that I could have made a child or 2 happier during the last 2 months plus.

I had a great day today catching up with one of my long lost friend. Though we did nothing much except to eat, drink and talk, it was worthwhile. I'm fortunate to have such a nice friend like her. One who understands and care in her know way even when we hardly meet up. I know my secrets(if any) and problems will be kept safe with her. It is because of friends like her that I know I'm blessed.

Its been 6 days into the new year and it has been a good start thus far. I would summarise year 2009 as a really challenging and demanding but yet fulfilling year. Fulfilling in the sense that I manage to find out more about myself and how I react to different situation. It was a year of self-discovery, coming to terms with certain issues as well as dealing with them. Through all the ups and downs in 2009, I was accompanied by a few close friends and family who saw me through each and every single moment and I'm utterly thankful and grateful for them. Some friends whom i'm not really close too really made 2009 a easier year too despite the difficulties that I faced.

Somehow, I believe that everything was planned out perfectly even the unpleasant moments. You will only discover joy if you've been through sadness. You will only discover happiness if you've been through pain. You will only discover that you're blessed when you manage to cross another hurdle. You will only aprreciate the gift of life after knowing and witnessing how one's life can be so fragile. You will only know how loved you are when you go through the downs of your life. God has really been by my side through it all. the sadness, the tears, the laughter and pain. Although he make himself known to me through various different indirect means such as friends, songs, Eucharistic celebrations, my quiet time with him and many other mysterious ways, you know he is there. That is why although 2009 is one of the hardest year, it was one of the most fulfilling one as well.

HAPPY HAPPY 23rd BIRTHDAY, GODMA!!

Thanks for always being there for me and for being a pillar of support and strength!
As you turn 23, I wish you all things good and may you have a double dosage of what makes you happy on this very special day of yours! :)

Kids.

Kids nowadays are definitely getting smarter and more playful in a way. They no longer listen. Instead, they challenge you and make you work harder. It been 2 days since I started working with Kids. I must say these 2 days have been an enjoyable one and the hours are just nice. The people i'm working with are pleasant too. I learnt quite a bit of things (that include some Chinese words and phrases which I have not known in my whole entire life). I learnt how to bathe and change the kids. More importantly, I'm slowly learning how to deal with them in difficult situations. Its a little tiring handling and playing with them but they put a smile on my face when they smile, giggle or laugh.

It could be a blessing in disgust that I've gotten this job because somehow it lifted my spirit seeing those kids. They may misbehave and throw tantrums but despite that, they are adorable, innocence and worry free. Hopefully as I continue working there, their childlike innocence may rub off me. :)

I'm starting to think that early childhood could be an option I can consider venturing into next time. At least my options are kept open and I wouldnt find myself at a deadend again. That feeling is just horrible and disheartening. Till then, I should just enjoy the company of the kids and see how many kids I'm able to bring some joy to.

Man's Bestfriend

R.I.P (1994-23112009)

GOODBYE, DEAREST BOY.
YOU'RE DEINITELY GOING TO BE MISSED BY ME, DEARLY...

I still remember how I got you, boy. I didnt want to go to school and grandpa promised me a dog if I attended school. True to his promise, he got me You. Since then, I always played with you and really truly enjoyed your company. Everything you did even when you were mischevious was all pleasing and precious in my eyes. Come to think of it, I was never angry or upset with you at all. You added colours to my childhood and teenhood and made it such a memorable one.

I sat by the pond one day feeling upset and disappointed. Somehow you knew how I felt and you came, sat beside me, and just accompanied me. There was this sparkle in your eyes that made everything right and okay. You were so obedient. You just sat there and looked at me with the most comforting eyes. I knew if you could talk, you would have told me everything was going to be okay and that you'll be here for me.

One day, while taking you out for a walk, you got into a fight with the neighbour's dog. As I saw you getting bitten and attacked by that dog for no rhyme or reason, my heart just sank. I couldn't do anything except holding on to your leash loosely so you could find a way to attack back and put you aside when I had an opportunity to. Thank goodness you escaped with only a few bruises here and there. From then on, i was more afraid of lossing you and would pray that you could be with me longer.

As you grew older and weaker by the years, I knew somehow this day would come. I was mentally preparing myself but couldnt handle it when I found out that you left for a better place. I didn't even have a chance to bid you farewell and wasnt even aware of it until a later date. I'm sorry, boy. Really am but you know you'll always have a special place in my heart.

Thanks boy for all the things which you have done for me to make all these years a better one. Although whats left is sweet memories and photos of you, know that I will treasure and keep them safe. No other dogs could ever replace you. I wish I could have spent more time with you but I hope you're rested somewhere free from all illnesses and pain.

Loving You Always,
Your bestfriend.

New Beginnings

I have made it through!

A level is finally over!! :)

Its been a real crazy process to reach where I am today but I'm somehow glad I saw this whole thing through till the end of it. I was thinking a few days back on what to do after As given the amount of time I have before beginning another journey somewhere else but God knew I couldnt come up with a list of things to do to fill my time so he gave me work to do. I will be starting work tmr at a childcare centre. I'm actually quite excited to find out more about what I'll be doing over there. Its a whole new experience, away from textbooks, homework and classes. Just hope the kids dont drive me up the wall.