This very night, I miss Singapore a lot. The place, my family, my friends.. Don't know why the sudden feeling though. It could be i'm overwhelmed by a few things that have happened lately and there isnt really people you could turn to. Feeling alone right now. Its a passing feeling but for now, it sucks.

maybe maybe.. I'm nothing

Made it through

Yesterday marks the day where I ended my journey at Trinity College. Indeed the passage of time have brought me much disappointments and great joy. More of great joy I would say. I started the journey with a bunch of friends but ended it with another. Many things happen along the way- a new housenate whom I slowly grew fond of, a close friend leaving Melbourne due to some health complication, started hanging out with a bunch of people I never thought I would and celebrating my birthday(well, about 2 weeks in advance) with that bunch of people. Nonetheless, it was an awesome journey (whcih i wouldnt exchange for anything) despite all the ups and downs and now that everyone is leaving, I'm definitely feeling something. A sense of loss I would say.. but thank God for memories and for photos to remind me of all of these. I thank God as well for seeing me through this whole one year of Trinity and for blessing and guiding me in ways I wouldnt have known.

On an entirely different note, I've been wondering if I actually mean something to the people around me. I've been doubting, but not anymore.

really need your grace and help to run this last lap.. Its starting to sink in that I'm still lagging. 2 more weeks! Focus Pearl. Focus!

when you give Lord, you really give in abundance! :) Last lap. Help me to stay focus and do what I need to do.

ME??!! Are you Kidding?

If my previous post was unexpected. This will be out of the world. :))) Its been a long while since I felt extremely happy to the point of shock and well, almost tears. Tears of joy I will say. When I first heard the news told by Kelly, it was really a mix feeling of joy, shock, surprise, estacy and many others all into one. Of course the thought that God is behind all these came to my mind too. I believe my facial expressions says it all when the news was revealed.

As the news slowly sink into my system, I was confronted with thoughts of -why me?? Do I really deserve it?? It is a humbling experience. I've fianlly experience the saying that with God all things are possible. God doesn't call the qualified, he qualifies those he call. Whatever it is, I'm REALLY thankful and grateful for this chance and honour given to me. Whatever happens the next 1 month, I just hope that I will be able to face the challenges and obstacles with much faith and trust in God. :)

Unexpected

It all started when my housemate asked me if I know who Reinhard Bonnke is. I thought that name sounded familar for some reason but I couldnt recall who he was. My housemate then told me that he is a famous evangelist and asked if I was interested to attend his session tonight at the convention centre. Being the lazy me, I gave a lot of reasons saying that I've work to do. its a sat night, I wont feel comfortable etc and then she retorted saying you're always lazy. That kind of knock something into my head. I mean all those excuses is so that I wont have to leave the house, wouldnt have to get changed etc. One thing I was uncomfortable with which I didnt mention to her is it was a christian event and I was skeptical about it. After some thought, I relented and said ok, I'll go.

When we arrived at the convention centre, I was totally amazed at the crowd gathered there to hear him speak. I was thinking to myself, he must be something for about an approximate 2000 people to be there. Initially, I had a bad vibe about this whole thing but as the session unfold, I thought to myself, wow, its something like charismatic. Well, the order was about the same. P&;W, talk, healing. It brought back fond memories of my friday evening in church. I didnt expect much out of the session frankly but I believe I was wrong because I teared and I could have that initimate time with God once again. It was nice to see so many people praising God and it was comforting to be reminded once again of just how awesome God is. Seeing the sea of people lifting their hands, giving glory and praise to God stirred something in my heart. I believe God wanted me to be present there tonight to rekindle my love I have for Him as well as the much needed motivation for my finals.

What can I say? You are an awesome God and I will be a fool if I choose to turn my back and not try to walk alongside with you.

Do not judge

I have quite a number of thoughts and feelings going on now but I dont know how to best describe it. All I know is I dont think I'm satisfied with who I am right now.

Hello God,

I've one request this Easter..
Take me to Easterland, will You?? :)

??

1) I'm getting really exhausted (not physically)
2) I'm glad for the upcoming break. I need time alone with You amidst all other things going on.
3) I'm somehow glad but yet apprehensive to move on
4) My inner mechnism is too complicated for me to understand why i react certain ways
5) I'm reminded today of how much I hate conflict and cannot seperate my thoughts from it.