Fighting the battle against myself alone and even if people would like to help, there is no way they can help. I just hope i dont sink way down. Even if i dont reach shore, i hope i could tread enough to keep my head up.

Goodbye

I guess no matter how many goodbyes i'm exposed to or have been exposed to, I can never be fully numb to the feeling of goodbye. It sucks but that's life.

come to think of it, you knew just what i needed to push me and see me through this coming 2 weeks before the break. Though this stomach of mine is giving me problems, causing me to tire easily and have tensional headaches,you gave me something to motivate me to go on. For that, I thank You. Couldnt have done it without You.

Its been a long while since i've written a post here but today, its a day worth remembering because of the sacrament of reconciliation. Today's confession was different. I was telling myself while waiting for confession: "if you're not gonna do anything about it after you go, then whats the point of going?". Despite that, i went on with it and it felt good. I liken it to having a bath- feeling clean and recharge. You wouldnt know or you can't determine what will happen after but as long as I keep working at it, i think i will get somewhere. Its tough, really but i would like to think i can do it and will make it someday.

This very night, I miss Singapore a lot. The place, my family, my friends.. Don't know why the sudden feeling though. It could be i'm overwhelmed by a few things that have happened lately and there isnt really people you could turn to. Feeling alone right now. Its a passing feeling but for now, it sucks.

maybe maybe.. I'm nothing

Made it through

Yesterday marks the day where I ended my journey at Trinity College. Indeed the passage of time have brought me much disappointments and great joy. More of great joy I would say. I started the journey with a bunch of friends but ended it with another. Many things happen along the way- a new housenate whom I slowly grew fond of, a close friend leaving Melbourne due to some health complication, started hanging out with a bunch of people I never thought I would and celebrating my birthday(well, about 2 weeks in advance) with that bunch of people. Nonetheless, it was an awesome journey (whcih i wouldnt exchange for anything) despite all the ups and downs and now that everyone is leaving, I'm definitely feeling something. A sense of loss I would say.. but thank God for memories and for photos to remind me of all of these. I thank God as well for seeing me through this whole one year of Trinity and for blessing and guiding me in ways I wouldnt have known.

On an entirely different note, I've been wondering if I actually mean something to the people around me. I've been doubting, but not anymore.

really need your grace and help to run this last lap.. Its starting to sink in that I'm still lagging. 2 more weeks! Focus Pearl. Focus!

when you give Lord, you really give in abundance! :) Last lap. Help me to stay focus and do what I need to do.

ME??!! Are you Kidding?

If my previous post was unexpected. This will be out of the world. :))) Its been a long while since I felt extremely happy to the point of shock and well, almost tears. Tears of joy I will say. When I first heard the news told by Kelly, it was really a mix feeling of joy, shock, surprise, estacy and many others all into one. Of course the thought that God is behind all these came to my mind too. I believe my facial expressions says it all when the news was revealed.

As the news slowly sink into my system, I was confronted with thoughts of -why me?? Do I really deserve it?? It is a humbling experience. I've fianlly experience the saying that with God all things are possible. God doesn't call the qualified, he qualifies those he call. Whatever it is, I'm REALLY thankful and grateful for this chance and honour given to me. Whatever happens the next 1 month, I just hope that I will be able to face the challenges and obstacles with much faith and trust in God. :)